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Go Back   Community > Society > My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God

My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add streakingsnake to your ignore list  
Old 2006-05-26, 07:00
streakingsnake streakingsnake is offline
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Hey guys, Ive got a few ideas for a new religion, and I want to see if you think it will ever catch on.

Name: The Church of Robot Jesus

Leader: Me and my posse

Theory:

-Jesus used to be cool. He was cool in a relative kinda way in the first few A.D centuries, when walking turning water into wine and walking across water were such considerable feats that being a 30 year old virgin it didn't detract from his coolness. However, He died for our sins. That, I believe was his most stupid decision because we immediately invented new sins for which we hadn’t been forgiven (like internet porn) and voila, we are once again filthy sinners and in dire need for another Jesus.

Today, Jesus just seems mediocre. Modern science attributes his ability to make wine to a bad yeast infection and anyone can walk across the Sea of Galilee because it is drying up. Jesus is made to seem dull in the light of contemporary superheroes such as Superman and other member of the Justice League due to his lack of superpowers, refusal to don spandex and lackluster comeback after the Romans nailed him, and despite the insistence of his Ministy on Earth, it seems highly unlikely that He will be back anytime soon. I think we are all sick of being told Jesus is coming without being told when.

Thus I present Robot Jesus, the all-forgiving, Satan-crushing, nail resistance cyber-kinetic Savior. He should sport a pretty mean costume and divine sex appeal, which should solve the problem the previous Jesus had with the ladies. Due out as soon as they invent AI, Robot Jesus will be armed with various ninja superpowers, gadgets and weapons to combat sin, evil and vampires. Doctrine is interpreted at your own discretion.

And of course, He dances The Robot like no other.



P.S Robots rule

[This message has been edited by streakingsnake (edited 05-26-2006).]
 


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