an analogy of dreams

[Clarphimous]

Lately I've been having lots of problems with depression, anxiety, and losing my sanity in general. A few months ago I attempted suicide, which first landed me in the county hospital and then a psychiatric hospital over a hundred miles away, which I stayed in for over a week. Things never have gotten much better since then, but I continue. This is why I haven't posted on Totse much lately. Last week, however, while I was having a mood swing which was altering my state of mind, I came across my new philosophy. It's nothing new under the sun, and it's far from comprehensive, but it's what I believe now. One of my friends said it sounded like Eastern philosophy. I'd say that's true to an extent, but I think it has a different focus than most Eastern philosophies. You could say that it is a combination of eastern philosophy, nihilism, and agnosticism.

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A Philosophy of Dreams

A fitting analogy for a life is the dream, in that we are typically unaware of our state of mind. We blunder about certain of the nature of reality, and when we see something amiss we dismiss it as just some unfortunate, or perhaps evil, event. It is not that we are stubborn, we just do not wish to give up the dream. When something completely destroys someone's beliefs, awakening can occur. It is a form of dissociation, sometimes called depersonalization/derealization. The reality of our situation becomes clear, and yet there is nothing to desire about it unless we are escaping a nightmare. Even then, it can feel like you're going insane, or if it is an incomplete awakening, emotions such as terror and despair can take over. Being awake does not mean knowing everything. It is just leaving the dream to have sense of self, no sense of purpose, and no sense of meaning.

Another state that can occur I term lucidity. This is much easier to obtain than being awake, and much more desirable. Like what we know as being lucid in a dream, it is being aware of our condition. In fact, lucid literally means "aware." The biggest reward for becoming lucid is that you can draw away from your emotions without feeling like you're losing your mind.

Our dreams are what give our lives meaning and purpose. They can be sweet fantasies or dark nightmares. Like literal dreams, lives often end abruptly, for no apparent purpose. Like literal dreams, the meaning and purpose can change without us realizing it.

Behind it all is a physical functioning. For literal dreams, it is the brain processing thoughts and memories. For the figurative dreams, it is the physics of the universe acting out its fate.

Outside our dreams in the cold, calculating physical structure of the universe, the meaning and purpose we have given everything is lost. It does not have an intrinsic meaning and purpose. It is just the framework for our dreams. I do not contend and will not pretend to know what comes after death, why anything exists at all, or what consciousness is. Perhaps we will find out sometime in the future, or perhaps someone already knows, or perhaps we are just asking the wrong questions. For example, maybe there is no "why" to the fact that our universe exists.

Because we are each in our own dream, this can create unusual effects in interhuman relations. Men fight over fantasies, each with their own idea of what things are and how they should be. They do not understand one another because they live in their own dream worlds. Some are so convinced of the reality of their dreams that they cannot see things any way other than their own.

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So what do I try to do now? I just try to enjoy my life, usually without remembering my philosophy (i.e. I'm not "lucid"). And if something comes up that looks like it's going to send me into depression, I just remember my analogy (to become "lucid) and I can take a breather.

This philosophy also gives the idea that you can create your own dream with its own meaning and purpose. But it's a bit harder than it seems, considering you're typically not in control of your environment, let alone your own belief system.

[Clarphimous]

Let me guess... this is existentialism, isn't it? Yeah... I'm just reinventing the wheel. Whee...

[Real.PUA]

look who found his way back to totse land

[Abrahim]

Whats your MSN, AIM, or YAHOO Adress?

[Clarphimous]

I notice you've been asking for several people's IM accounts. I'll let you look for mine. Start with this page, and follow the links until you find my e-mail address. Use that to contact me through MSN. I leave it online even when I'm asleep, so keep that in mind if I don't respond.

[Abrahim]

quote:Originally posted by Clarphimous:

I notice you've been asking for several people's IM accounts. I'll let you look for mine. Start with this page, and follow the links until you find my e-mail address. Use that to contact me through MSN. I leave it online even when I'm asleep, so keep that in mind if I don't respond.

Alright, sounds fun, though I would've just liked it heheh. What links do you mean? All the topics? ALL? Just ones you've started? All your posts?! What links back are we talking about? Hmm...You could tell me what links you mean...on MSN...lol

[Clarphimous]

Come now... I shouldn't have to give you hints. The one on this page is an image link.

[Twisted_Ferret]

quote:Originally posted by Clarphimous:

Come now... I shouldn't have to give you hints. The one on this page is an image link.

*feels special because he found it all by himself*

That's an interesting philosophy, and a lot like my own. You're framed it in a bleaker way than I do, though; I choose to see it as a universe of limitless possibility and diversity. You like to do this, I like to do that, and we can each do our thing while sharing this reality as a whole.

[JesuitArtiste]

A pretty interesting read...

People care too much about life ,they care too much about how things are ,they care too much about how people think. Very few people care about themselves.

Depression is sometimes caused through not caring abotu yourself. You may care that your girlfriends has just fucked you over for your best friend. You may care that you may not get that nice mark in an exam ,and worry what people think. You might be laughed at cause you're a midget .... on a unicycle.

But what does this matter? Why should other people ,people who you will never actually know anything about ,never truly comphrehend ,never truly feel affect you? These people cannot truly affect you ,the only person that affects you is YOU. Forget people ,accpet there opinions ,mark them on basis of pros and cons ,but never allow yourself to be dominated by people. The only person who you can ever know is yourself ,and too many people try to be like they "know" they should be.

I'm not preaching anti-conformatism. I'm not teachng that you should shun people. I'm opinioning that the only opinion that matters is your own. Ironic ,yes?

In anycase ,That was a pretty good post. I prefer not to label ideas that you come up with yourself as anything ,too many ideas I've had have turned out to be ideas someone else has already had ,and wrote a book about ,and been acclaimed for. Your own beliefs ,no matter what they are affected by , are all that matter.

I've rambled enough ,Good Night.

[Clarphimous]

JesuitArtiste:

Thank you for responding. I would normally try to be nice and not say anything negative about your post since you praised mine, but I'm going to be honest and say I disagree with most of what you said. Simply because of my beliefs. I'm not saying it's completely wrong, I'm saying you're just telling me your ideas which come from your dreams. i.e. your ideas are subjective.

quote:People care too much about life ,they care too much about how things are ,they care too much about how people think. Very few people care about themselves.

It doesn't matter, beyond the ability to satisfy certain goals above others. If you care about yourself, and you have cancer and are going to die in a few days, then it would be advantageous to have others above yourself in importance. That way you may be able to fulfill what you want. That's just an example. It could be applied numerous ways, including the other way around which would support what you said.

quote:Depression is sometimes caused through not caring abotu yourself. You may care that your girlfriends has just fucked you over for your best friend. You may care that you may not get that nice mark in an exam ,and worry what people think. You might be laughed at cause you're a midget .... on a unicycle.

But what does this matter? Why should other people ,people who you will never actually know anything about ,never truly comphrehend ,never truly feel affect you? These people cannot truly affect you ,the only person that affects you is YOU. Forget people ,accpet there opinions ,mark them on basis of pros and cons ,but never allow yourself to be dominated by people. The only person who you can ever know is yourself ,and too many people try to be like they "know" they should be.

Sounds like Epicureanism. It is subjective, not objective. I'll give you a few criticisms so you can understand why.

Depression is certainly not always caused by caring about other people. Read my above statement about having cancer. Whether you will have satisfaction is all dependent on the situation.

As a clinical term, you do not have depression down very good. You can be depressed for no reason aside from having an imbalance of neurotransmitters in your brain. It happens to me often for no reason. In particular, these neurotransmitters are serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine (try saying that one 10 times fast). Point being, just being separated emotionally from other people is not going to prevent depression. In fact, it may make it worse. Humans are social creatures, females more than males.

Edit: I realize that this could be viewed as an imperfect lack of empathy, so I'll give a couple other examples. Having empathy and caring for others can actually provide positive experiences, for one. So it is not always negative. The other thing that I'm thinking of is that even if you do not care about others, what others do will still affect you. If everyone hates your guts and you get stoned to death that's not going to be a pleasant experience, whether you care about what they think or not.

Your examples don't seem to prove your point... they seem to be examples of selfishness if you ask me. If your girlfriend fucks you over, that's going to prevent you from sexual satisfaction as well as create a change in lifestyle. I won't bother with the other ones.

People can comprehend what you're going through. But in most cases, in order to do be able to do so, they must first experience it themselves. I can understand how people going through depression feel because I've experienced it myself. Of course, it is not exact. But your knowledge of yourself isn't much better. Your subconscious mind often conceals things from your awareness. You'd be surprised what you don't know about yourself that others do.



Now, on the other hand you have Existentialism which is objective, but it does not have a value system to live by. You can be Existentialist on some level while also having your own value system, like Epicureanism or Marxism or Humanist or whatever you want. The one sentence in all that you said that shows Existentialism is "Your own beliefs ,no matter what they are affected by , are all that matter." I think you just got yourself a little bit confused between the value system and the objects in the value system. Hopefully what I said earlier illustrates what I mean here.

[This message has been edited by Clarphimous (edited 05-27-2006).]