My usual remedy for spiritual/religious conflicts in my brain is to ignore it for a while, and assume the normal routine. However, I'm having one of those mental tug-of-wars right now and happened to be online, so *BAM* I'll tell all of Totse about it!
Note: I use a lot of the coined Christian phrases that can be torn apart.. consider the circumstances.. it's all I know.
I was raised in a Christian home--Baptist specifically. *Saved* young, matured and suffocated in the close-minded heat of the Bible Belt. I never felt completely whole. There's supposedly a hole in your heart that is filled when you become a Christian, but I always felt like I continued to lack something.
As I naturally didn't feel fulfilled, I turned to more enjoyable, *sinful*
activities. I enjoy my life. Now and then, I have these questions plague me--What do I really believe? If I had been raised with a different religious background, would I have followed
it so blindly? WHAT IS RIGHT?
I don't believe that any religion is right. I don't even know if I believe in Heaven or Hell anymore. I don't think I believe anything. I know that I am one of those young, malleable minds and so I'm afraid that I'll believe anything that comes my way. I find myself thinking one thing and contradicting myself the next day.
I know that people have a spiritual need, and we as a person need to discover that need and find out what we believe... I think that is why I feel so uneasy.
Tell me I'm not alone on this?
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