MY New Religion.

[The_Rabbi]

We're called the Noahides.

An offshoot of Judaism, but for non-Jews. It's quite simple.

Basically, I've taken the 7 Noahide Laws, and altered them to fit our society and the common good.

To be righteous and good in the eyes of OUR God, one must simply follow the 7 Noahide Commandments:

1.)Not to deny God

2.)Not to make promises to God you cannot keep

3.)Not to murder NOTE ON 3: Noahides are a firm believer in an eye for an eye and self-defense. If someone tries to kill you or your loved ones, it is entirely justified and righetous to kill them before they can do so.

4.)Not to engage in incest, beastiality, or adultery(adultery being sexual relation between a married person and an unmarried person, not between two unmarried people). NOTE ON 4: Seeing as how homosexuality is considered to be something that gays cannot control, Noahides don't feel God would condemn them for it.

5.)Not to steal.

6.)Not to eat a limb torn from a living animal(for your own safety)

7.)To set up or support courts to protect the people from oppressive governments, and to ensure consequences for those who break rules 3, 4, and 5. Also, to never attempt to deny one's right to self-defense through these courts.

I think these are some well-rounded and sensible rules for a religion. 'Course, if you don't like them, Noahides don't care. You don't have to follow them, just remember our third rule and the consequences if you attempt to hurt us.

Anything else is fair game and not to be considered the domain of the religion. I rather prefer this religion, having realized that I will never have the willpower to follow the mitzvot.

If anyone's interested, I will be setting this religion up officially soon. There will be lots of kick-ass stuff.

[SEN D-F]

Im a bit confused about #6. Who rips a limb off a living animal and eats it? Or is this a way of saying noahides would have to be vegetarian?

[The_Rabbi]

quote:Originally posted by SEN D-F:

Im a bit confused about #6. Who rips a limb off a living animal and eats it? Or is this a way of saying noahides would have to be vegetarian?

No, no, not at all.

Matter of fact, it's preferable in the Noahide's eyes to eat meat. It gets you in touch with your primal instincts, something none of us can deny. It's good to remember that a living creature gave it's life for your dinner.

The rule simply means that you need to cook your meat, since raw meat is bad for your system. Also, you have to make sure the animal you're eating is dead before you start carving off t-bones.

It'd be kind of messed up to eat something while it's still alive, don't you think?

[onion jack 67]

i am all for the redefinition of faith to work in modern society and i tip my hat to you rabbi. do you see yourself as the one that layed down these rules, which by the way i don't disagree with, the leader or guardian of noahide?

would you accept followers to your congregation with ideas to expand noahidism or are you saying from the start... this is it and you don't have to be a part if you don't like the rules?

have you allowed for music and celebrations and days of rest. i think days that end in 'y' shoulkd be days of rest...

[ilbastardoh]

That's fucking reasonable!

[The_Rabbi]

quote:Originally posted by onion jack 67:

would you accept followers to your congregation with ideas to expand noahidism or are you saying from the start... this is it and you don't have to be a part if you don't like the rules?

I've found, through my experience with Judaism, that if you keep adding to a religion, it's just going to muddle everything up.

Jews are afraid to answer the goddamned phone on the shabbat.

I think independent thought should be important to the Noahides, but it's all relative. The only thing Noahides should stick to is the basic rules, and they're free to hypothesize about everything else. How are we to know the truth if we don't consider all possibilities?

quote:have you allowed for music and celebrations and days of rest. i think days that end in 'y' shoulkd be days of rest...

Nah, that's the kind of cheesy thing that somebody who started a religion as a joke would do.

[Charles Thunder]

There’s something I don’t understand. If you don’t have to follow the commandments, then why have them at all? Wouldn’t the strict definition of a religious foundation be adherence to a system of rules? By the way, why are you called Noahides?

[homosuperior]

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

We're called the Noahides.

An offshoot of Judaism, but for non-Jews. It's quite simple.

Basically, I've taken the 7 Noahide Laws, and altered them to fit our society and the common good.

To be righteous and good in the eyes of OUR God, one must simply follow the 7 Noahide Commandments:

1.)Not to deny God

2.)Not to make promises to God you cannot keep

3.)Not to murder NOTE ON 3: Noahides are a firm believer in an eye for an eye and self-defense. If someone tries to kill you or your loved ones, it is entirely justified and righetous to kill them before they can do so.

4.)Not to engage in incest, beastiality, or adultery(adultery being sexual relation between a married person and an unmarried person, not between two unmarried people). NOTE ON 4: Seeing as how homosexuality is considered to be something that gays cannot control, Noahides don't feel God would condemn them for it.

5.)Not to steal.

6.)Not to eat a limb torn from a living animal(for your own safety)

7.)To set up or support courts to protect the people from oppressive governments, and to ensure consequences for those who break rules 3, 4, and 5. Also, to never attempt to deny one's right to self-defense through these courts.

I think these are some well-rounded and sensible rules for a religion. 'Course, if you don't like them, Noahides don't care. You don't have to follow them, just remember our third rule and the consequences if you attempt to hurt us.

Anything else is fair game and not to be considered the domain of the religion. I rather prefer this religion, having realized that I will never have the willpower to follow the mitzvot.

If anyone's interested, I will be setting this religion up officially soon. There will be lots of kick-ass stuff.

Any religion without the 4 Noble truths is a bullshit religion.

Any religion claiming existence or worshipping of God wthout proof is bullshit

The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism."

-Albert Einstein

I propose you listen to one of your fellow Jews.

[The_Rabbi]

quote:Originally posted by Charles Thunder:

If you don’t have to follow the commandments, then why have them at all?

Why do anything?

If you're not a Noahide, you don't need to follow them. Just don't claim to be a Noahide.

quote: By the way, why are you called Noahides?

Because I based my system off of the 7 Noahide Laws from Judaism.

[The_Rabbi]

quote:Originally posted by homosuperior:



Any religion claiming existence or worshipping of God wthout proof is bullshit

Then wouldn't all religions be bullshit to you?

quote:The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism."

-Albert Einstein

I propose you listen to one of your fellow Jews.

Einstein was only good at one thing, and philosophy wasn't it.