Re: Stop my suicide
Hope. Hope my friend. You know I've always lived by the maxim that "every man is responsible for his own destiny". Life takes twists and turns and ups and down with so much pain that it makes you numb and cold, unable to even want to live another day of waking up and facing all the bullshit. However, with the bad we can also understand the good. Its there, I swear to you and it is you and only you who can go get it. You will have to sweat, breathe, and bleed to feel happy but I swear to you that if you just keep your head up, if you just keep strong, keep positive and keep moving forward you will find more and more pieces of meaning and happiness.
But it is only you who can grasp that. It is only your choice that can make it so. It is only your action that can fulfill it.
So death...is death. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no need to say its beautiful or peaceful or anything as you just die and in that throw away all your potential, all your possibilities, all the loves you could have had, all the good you could have done. Wash away by your resignation...the moment where you told yourself that you must "give up". Thats bullshit my friend. Never give up. Like is scary, facing your problems is scary...but lets quote dune a moment and say:
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
And then you can do anything. You can. You just have to look at your goals, what you want to do, where you want to be and do all that you can to get there. Research. You have a computer, therefore half the world is already open to you. You can do it. And you can start with a bit of love from your fellow totseans, and some hope.
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