Revvy
2008-12-23, 21:53
Ok, so I've been writing for a little while now. Though it's mainly bullshit and I don't really think it's any good. But today I wrote something and thought to myself, 'wow', this isn't actually too bad.
Just wondering what you all think... Is it good, or just mediocre and I'm being too generous? Here goes....
"She called to me from beyond Hyperbola;
She waved to me from across the stream.
Her long, flowing hair blistened in moonlight,
And her wild eyes glistled in glee.
Her silent hand slithered from darkness,
It stretched out from over the stream.
She smiled as she took me by the hand,
And laviously lead me into my dream.
My mind was swallowed in sanctity,
As she smiled and lead me astray.
We wildly wallowed in the woodlands,
Oh, how we wildly made love until day.
But the sunlight revealed her true darkness,
As I looked at them lustrous eyes.
They reflected bright signs of warning:
That I was heading to a sharp demise.
Oh, I was fighting back the demons,
For at least half a lonelysome day.
Laboriously; until my weary mind wondered,
And she pounced and lead me astray.
With such methods alien to man;
She pillaged and propagated my mind,
A lullaby - a fulfilled ambush -
Such temptation no man could decline.
'Why was i resisting?' I wondered,
Oh, she was the object of my dreams.
A visage of pure podium perfection:
A vision of what my future could be.
But beside me was a lady who loved me,
As I slept and sinned in my mind.
Holding me tight as auburn; oblivious
To my passionate, possession inside:
Someone who I held in reality,
And kissed in the blossoms of May.
A darling beauty of passion, who
I've unknowingly; undeseredly betrayed.
My mind may still strive to yonder,
It calls both far and wide:
But my heart still cherishes the lady,
The one which I love and lay beside."
Just wondering what you all think... Is it good, or just mediocre and I'm being too generous? Here goes....
"She called to me from beyond Hyperbola;
She waved to me from across the stream.
Her long, flowing hair blistened in moonlight,
And her wild eyes glistled in glee.
Her silent hand slithered from darkness,
It stretched out from over the stream.
She smiled as she took me by the hand,
And laviously lead me into my dream.
My mind was swallowed in sanctity,
As she smiled and lead me astray.
We wildly wallowed in the woodlands,
Oh, how we wildly made love until day.
But the sunlight revealed her true darkness,
As I looked at them lustrous eyes.
They reflected bright signs of warning:
That I was heading to a sharp demise.
Oh, I was fighting back the demons,
For at least half a lonelysome day.
Laboriously; until my weary mind wondered,
And she pounced and lead me astray.
With such methods alien to man;
She pillaged and propagated my mind,
A lullaby - a fulfilled ambush -
Such temptation no man could decline.
'Why was i resisting?' I wondered,
Oh, she was the object of my dreams.
A visage of pure podium perfection:
A vision of what my future could be.
But beside me was a lady who loved me,
As I slept and sinned in my mind.
Holding me tight as auburn; oblivious
To my passionate, possession inside:
Someone who I held in reality,
And kissed in the blossoms of May.
A darling beauty of passion, who
I've unknowingly; undeseredly betrayed.
My mind may still strive to yonder,
It calls both far and wide:
But my heart still cherishes the lady,
The one which I love and lay beside."